Archive for category Gaming

Personal Responsibility

Has the idea of personal responsibility completely died out in this generation? People can and do blame their problems on every imaginable external source: McDonald’s is the cause of obesity in America; video games are the cause of teenage violence; parents and even DNA are what caused you to fail in life. Stop! Stop blaming everyone else and accept responsibility for your own actions! If people are fat, it’s not because McDonald’s force-fed them, it’s because they ‘live’ on a diet of four Big Mac’s a day. If a teenager goes on a shooting spree, it’s not because they saw it in a video game, it’s because they picked up a gun and decided to commit a horrendous act. If your life isn’t quite what you imagined it to be, it’s not because mommy cut your sandwiches diagonally instead of into rectangles: look around, realize that you’re not the only one with problems, stop whining and do something about it.

I know not everyone is crazy about playing the one-player blame game, but maybe we as a society should start. The following is several loosely-tied examples of exactly what the hell I’m talking about.

A new game, ‘Manhunt 2′, has been the center of quite a bit of controversy. In the United States this game has been given the dreaded ‘Adults Only’ (‘AO’) rating, pretty much dooming the game. See, the ESRB, the organization that gives games their ratings, has deemed that ‘Manhunt 2′ is rated ‘AO’, meaning that it should only be played by players who are 18 years of age or older. This is somehow different from the ‘Mature’ (‘M’) rating which specifies that the player must be at least 17 years old. Idiotic ratings will be the subject of a different rant, back to the task at hand. The fact that a game is rated as ‘AO’ pretty much kills it: retailers such as Wal-Mart and Target refuse to carry the game and two out of three console makers have policies against ‘AO’ games on their consoles (Sony and Nintendo). Why? Why is the consumer not given the choice in the matter? How dare a corporation dictate what I can and can’t play? When Wal-Mart pulls a ‘controversial’ book/CD/game off their shelves, they are imposing their twisted sense of propriety and morality on our culture. And here’s the tricky part: we let them. We allow these companies to have a word on what is supposed to be our own choice. We allow our experiences to be cut short by the ‘Wives With Knives’ Club.

Wives With Knives

The reason that the multinational corporations institute these policies is because a large part of their customer base loves to blame social problems on ‘evil’ books, music and video games. Here’s where this is actually relevant to whatever I wrote two paragraphs back. Because people decide to blame video games when a messed up kid goes berserk, the rest of us aren’t able to make the choice for ourselves on whether or not we should be playing ‘Manhunt 2′.

If you’re reading this, you probably know about my weekly cheese tastings. I love cheese. And I enjoy getting together with a bunch of like-minded individuals, opening up a bottle of wine and munching down on half a dozen different types of solidified curdled milk. But did you know that it is illegal to sell some cheese in the United States? Yes, there are laws on cheese. For example, it is illegal to sell cheese made from raw milk that has been aged for less than 60 days. According to the FDA, raw-milk cheeses can cause “serious infectious diseases including listeriosis, brucellosis, salmonellosis and tuberculosis”. But of course in matters such as these there does exist contradicting opinion that the pasteurization of milk does not ensure its safety. There’s also statistical evidence that even in countries that have not made raw-milk cheese illegal, the majority of cheese-related food poisonings stem from pasteurized cheese. But that’s not the point, is it? The point is that I don’t have a say in the matter. Once again we come to the original point of personal responsibility. If I want to risk my life by partaking in some ‘dangerous’ cheese, that should be my right.

So, what’s with all the talk about laws? It’s quite simple, really. I think laws should exist to protect people. Period. Laws against victimless ‘crimes’ should be done away with. This also includes such acts that a person can perform that harm themselves: suicide, eating raw-milk cheese, smoking cigarettes/marijuana/whatever and a variety of other ‘crimes’ in which the only person being affected is the one carrying out the actions.

What would this accomplish? Well, for one thing, there’ll be less idiots walking around: if a person is given the first and last choice on the use of dangerous substances or whathaveyou, the idiots will automatically weed themselves out. Imagine if that raw-milk cheese was actually available from Whole Foods. It would of course come with a label that said something along the lines of “made from raw-milk, the FDA suggests that you don’t buy this cheese, it might make you sick, but it’s your ultimately choice”. Obviously not everyone (or is it ‘no one’?) reads warning labels, so we’ll clear out quite a large segment of society. Also, and this is equally great, the rest of us would be able to live our lives out the way we want to, not how a religious asshole, neglectful parent, nosy neighbor or self-proclaimed knight in shining armor would tell us to live our lives.

On the subject of all the above-mentioned so-called ‘Good Samaritans’:

To do evil a human being must first of all believe that what he’s doing is good… Ideology – that is what gives evildoing its long-sought justification and gives the evildoer the necessary steadfastness and determination. That is the social theory which helps to make his acts seem good instead of bad in his own and others’ eyes, so that he won’t hear reproaches and curses but will receive praise and honors. – Alexandr Solzhenitsyn

I can’t think of a way to wrap this up in a cogent manner, so pretend that I concluded with a poignant quote by Alexandr Solzhenitsyn.

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GamrChat humor

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Burnout Paradise

A new racing game is coming to the PS3 and the 360 that will use both systems’ cameras in an unusual (and possibly dangerous) way: the cameras will snap a picture of your opponents when they crash, so you can see the torment you bring to other people’s lives. Fun! Oh, and these pictures are immortalized on your hard-drive, so you can sneak a peak at your opponent’s ‘damn, my freaking engine just tore a hole in the car’ pics. No, that’s not creepy. Of course, the problem with this is obvious: instead of the camera actually pointing at myself, I’ll train it on a picture of Will Ferell’s portrayal of Janet Reno. Guaranteed to give nightmares!

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Mass Effect

There’s all this hype about upcoming games: we know of a game a year before it comes out; we salivate over every single frame of the rare in-game animations the companies toss our ways; we are waiting for more games to come out than we are currently playing. The whole tires me out. And yet I can do nothing but salivate more and more as I watch this damn trailer: http://kotaku.com/gaming/clips/mass-effect-trailer-starring-keith-david-277058.php

Oh, Keith David, you’re dreamy. In that this-guy-has-a-scary-voice way. Yay.

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Hot Chai

Hot Chai

While the original story of GTA: San Andreas’ ‘Hot Coffee’ modification is now close to two years old, the announcement of the new GTA title has resurrected the controversy surrounding the franchise. (‘Hot Coffee’ is the name of a modification which allowed players to unlock game code that the developer has disabled from the final game but that still remains in the code.)

A month ago, the first trailer for GTA: IV was unveiled, giving a glimpse into the next game in the series and cause for alarm from its opponents. Jack Thompson, a controversial attorney who has filed a number of lawsuits against Rockstar Games, the company that owns the GTA franchise, has made numerous comments concerning the content of the game, which he believes will be ever more damaging to young players than any of the previous games. As support of his claims, Thompson produced evidence in the form of the game’s original source code, for which he refuses to provide sources, that includes “vulgar and suggestive comments and … sexually explicit variable declarations”.

Rockstar has refused to comment on the content of the upcoming game, but has addressed Thompson’s evidence, stating:

Where did you get that? Were you the one who set off smoke bombs in our building and tried to hang from the ceiling with climbing ropes like in that stupid ‘Mission Impossible’ movie? And come on, it’s just comments, that stuff doesn’t make it into the finished binaries! Oh, and those ‘sexually explicit variable declarations’? You can’t write ‘UnauthorizedAccessException’ without ‘sEx’, you dimwit!

Rockstar’s response continues on for a number of pages, attacking Jack Thompson on a number of technical points and suggests more than once that Thompson may not have received enough ‘love’ when he was younger.

US Senator Hillary Clinton, who sided with Thompson during the ‘Hot Coffee’ scandal, has distanced herself from the controversial attorney, citing Thompson’s lack of factual evidence and his poor ethics, adding:

I want to appear to be more conservative than I really am in order to get more red state votes, sure, but that raving lunatic is pulling stuff out of his ass now. Not even someone like a misinformed NASCAR fan would believe the crap this nutjob is spewing. Whoops, did I say that? I mean… I support family values. Abortion is wrong. A gun and a Bible in every household!

Thompson was unavailable for comments.

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GTA: San Andreas

You’ve probably heard quite a bit about the Hot Coffee controversy surrounding GTA: San Andreas. If you haven’t, here’s a recap: while developing the game the developers half-coded a sex mini-game which does not make an appearance in the game, but is accessible if the user applies a third-party patch (on the PC) or uses cheat tools (on the console versions). This was dubbed Hot Coffee, relating it to the fact that were the mini-game present in the game, it would be played after one of CJ’s girlfriends invited him in for “coffee”. The discovery stirred up quite a lot of commotion, prompting a re-rating of the game from M (mature) to AO (adult only) and subsequent recall of the original versions of the game. Of course when dealing with moral panic of any sort the blood-suckers and the general scum of the earth popped their heads up: Republicans used the scandal to try and push freedom-suppressing laws and Democrats jumped on the issue to gain some moderate, family-oriented, “moral” votes their own way.

The curious thing is that no one who criticized the game actually played it. If they had, they would have found a virtual treasure-chest of offensive material with which to attack the gaming industry. Luckily, neither you nor they have to play the game to see just what I am talking about.

I went ahead and made a little compilation of some “questionable” acts of wanton destruction one can perform in the game. I did this in part to enjoy the game, once again, and in part to ask the question: why didn’t anyone say anything?

Click expand to see the entire post.

Read the rest of this entry »

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Annoyance, thy name is lame gamers

There’s a demo out for “Battlestations: Midway” that I’ve been playing every night this week. Usually two battles and then it’s off to bed. Well, through these two daily battles I’ve gleamed insight into the dark and depressing world of non-FPS multiplayer. See, with FPS multiplayer, Halo for instance, players can be fairly independent and still have a good time. You can have your own agenda, to an extent, and still not drag down the entire server or team. For example, when playing Halo CTF (capture-the-flag) I concentrate more on kills than actually capturing the flag. It just so happens that this approach is helpful to my team: I keep the other team busy with an unrelenting assault while my team-mates sneak in and get the flag. Everyone’s happy: they get the flag and I get 4 times the number of kills of everyone else on the server. Yay. There’s also the ability to enter and leave the game at any point without disturbing the flow. I don’t really mind if one guy on our team left and was replaced by someone else. No biggie. We continue to do our thing and everyone’s happy. Unless the new arrival is going to be an asshole and start team-killing, the game goes on.

Now, turn to “Battlestations: Midway”. The game is great: you get to command ships and planes in the Pacific Ocean theater of WW2. While most of the game is spent looking over a map and pointing to what you want to die, you can also get behind the controls of any unit under your control and open up your own brand of ass-whooping. Imagine piloting a sub, then instantly using a nearby battle cruiser’s flak guns to take down enemy planes and, finally, sit back and enjoy the first person view of a plane making a bombing run as the AI pulls off the perfect dive. The AI in the game is great and takes care of the small things, but you can also over-ride it at any time by simply focusing on a specific unit and “doing stuff”, like piloting the plane. Suffice it to say this is a game I am seriously considering buying.

I say “considering” because of two things: this is not a game published by Microsoft so I would have to pay the full price. The only Xbox game I’ve paid full price for so far was Lego Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy. The rest I either got free (intern poker tournament and PGR3 was included with the 360), at the Microsoft store (25$ for “Gears of War”!) or at severe discount (DoA4 was only 20$!). The second thing is multiplayer.

Multiplayer in “Battlestations: Midway” can be a beautiful thing: a well-coordinated attack on the enemy bringing them to their knees by plowing through their sea-faring forces and air-carriers. It can also be a nightmare. Often enough players leave at the very start of the game, stranding you there to face the onslaught of three enemies while you have to juggle two aircraft carriers, two shipyards and the 22 units they are capable of producing! While this is a nightmarish scenario, if you’re good enough and skip micromanaging every action, you can still win. If you’re good. I’m not that good yet. Then, there are cases where your team-mates are either AFK (away-from-keyboard, the geek version of MIA) or have absolutely no idea how to play. At all. Their planes are stuck at the base, spinning in place, while I get absolutely no air-cover and am royally shafted by the enemy. Thanks a lot, idiot! While I understand that this is a demo and anyone can play it, I also fear that even the people who cough up the dough for the game will have lamers in their ranks. With Halo, the worst lamers are spawn-campers and whiners. There’s a strategy for dealing with both and my annoyance level barely rises above a 7. How do you deal with a team-mate who controls half the forces on your side but does nothing with them?

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Making fun of the Pope

Not enough people make fun of the pope.
Well, at least GameSpot is trying. Even if it’s not particularly offensive.

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Couples and video games

There’s an interesting article at GamePolitics (the closest I get to politics on a daily basis, beside bashing Bush) talks about the positive effects of playing video games as a couple.

The reason I’m talking about this is that I love wacky word combinations (like “found cake”), of which I talked previously. This article introduces a new, and curious, phrase: “foreplay on wheels”. This is describing the game Midnight Club 3, which I always thought of as a racing game, but whatever.

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Super Columbine Massacre RPG!

Apparently, this is a rather old game (it came out in 2005) but I haven’t heard about it until just today seeing an article on GamePolitics. Yes, this is an RPG (role playing game), with the look of old Zelda games, that is based on the Columbine shootings. You can download it for free on the developer’s website. I’m not even going to try and get it while I’m at work, but I’ll give it a spin when I get home. Anyhow.

I haven’t played this game yet, obviously. And it would seem that a lot of people haven’t played it, but have found reason enough in the game’s subject to scream their heads off. People are complaining that the game addresses a tragic event and the developer is making money off the deaths of the Columbine victims. Obviously video game critics are pointing toward this game as yet another thing that is eroding the moral fabric of our culture, or whatever their metaphor is this week.

Moving past the biggest mistake the opponents have done, and that is not seeing for themselves quite what the game is, they seem to be hypocritical in their choice of targets. Making a game about the killings of 13 individuals is immoral and should be outlawed, but the countless films on the topic of World War II and the Holocaust are perfectly acceptable? Should there be a longer time between the act and the semi-fictionalized retelling of the story? Columbine happened in 1999. The attacks of 9/11 occurred in 2001 and there have already been made at least 3 major films, profiting the studios from the deaths of 2,973 people. Oh, wait, maybe it’s about numbers: WWII claimed over 60 million lives, 9/11 saw 2,973 deaths (and 24 missing and presumed dead) while Columbine is “only” 13. How many award-winning WWII games are there? How many of these put the gamer in German uniform and have them run around shooting Allied soldiers? There’s a WWII game that pits Americans against the Japanese in direct combat. It’s very popular in Japan.

What is it about this game that makes the critics foam at the mouth at its very mention? Does the game reward violence? Does it humanize the inhuman monsters of Harris and Klebold? Does it attempt to justify their actions? I’ll know soon enough.

Here’s a trailer/response video from YouTube.

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Extreme Geek

One geek asked another if it was possible to build an Xbox 360 laptop. The second geek took this challenge on and three months later, this glorious monstrosity was born.

Link

Link to the step-by-step assembly blog

This thing weighs 14 lbs. Regardless, I’d buy it in a heart-beat.

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Halo

I was playing Halo online today. Quite interesting.

See, in Halo you get to pick a nickname, any nickname. Most people choose names that are dangerous-sounding, like Assassin or Blade. Some people choose stupid names, like YourMama. You’ve got no idea how many times I’ve been killed by Your Mama. Then, there are people who choose stupid names that are a play on words. Let me explain: in Halo, when one person is killed by another, a message pops up in the form of “Bob was killed by Sam”. Well, some people choose names like “a papercut”, so the message looks like “Bob was killed by a papercut”. Hmm. Amusing. The first few times you see it. And, finally, there’s my nickname: fuzzy. I chose it because it’s short, simple, and makes people think of a wimpy player. Think about it: you’d expect a lot from a guy named Scorpion and not so much from someone named Winnie Pooh. So, I went with fuzzy. People don’t expect much, but when I start womping their asses like there’s no tomorrow, they perk up. It’s especially great to see my name in the final battle summary, as having made the most kills. See, the whole theory on this stems from “White Men Can’t Jump”. Good movie. In there, the white guy says that he’s dressed like a sucker, so if he loses, no big deal. On the other hand, when a sucker beats a reigning champion, that is a big deal. Same thing here. Somewhat. That, and I really like “Get Fuzzy”, so this is a bit of an homage. Anyhow, to today’s game.

Today, we were playing on Infinity, a giant map of canyons shaped like the infinity symbol (rotate the number 8 sideways). In the game there were the usual people with the usual nicknames: “an act of stupidity” (“fuzzy was killed by an act of stupidity”), “Killer”, some guy named “Moroni”, “Hitler”. Usual collection: play on words, a name, and two “scary” nicknames. There was also “IRS”. It’s funny to see “fuzzy was killed by IRS”. Guess I didn’t pay my taxes. The best part was that there was also a guy named “OJ”. I think the player was going for the scary theme, so he used the name of a killer. :)

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Adventures in my apt

So there I am, being sweet and cute, playing LEGO Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy, and I hear this click-clacking sound coming from the kitchen. It’s like a rat got into a cupboard and can’t get out. Scared me. So, I pause the game and look over there. And the sounds stops. So I continue playing and hear that sound again. What the hell?! I pause the game and finally figure out that it’s my speakers scaring the hell out of me. In the game, there’s a brain-spider walking around, making noises, and this one walked behind and to the side of me, so he was technically “in” my kitchen. His sound was certainly coming from there. Freaky, but awesome.

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Shipping. Ah!

So, as I’ve said before, shipping sucks. I purchased a thing online on Thursday. It’s Tuesday, and the order is still being sent to the warehouse. The people haven’t even gotten off their asses to get me my power supply. Thankfully I chose the slowest shipping method. Imagine how pissed off I’d be if I paid for next day air (most expensive, I think), expected the package on Friday or possibly Saturday, and was told on Tuesday that it’s still sitting there in the warehouse, waiting for a lazy bastard to get it from a shelf and stick it in a crappy package.

That’s another thing, everyone is trying to maximize their profit, so they cut back on the shipping. Amazon now ships stuff in envelopes, where before they used to have real boxes stuffed with packing material. I got Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay from Buy.com, and the game came in a dinky envelope. The box is all bent up and I hate looking at it. I like nice boxes. That’s a reason that I buy games that I like instead of just downloading them illegally.

Anyway, that’s just me being pissed about shipping. But it’s not like I don’t have a reason.

I bought a game online. The guy mailed it on Saturday (unlike Amazon, who didn’t do anything for almost a month). It’s being shipped USPS. I got an e-mail with a tracking number. Yesterday, the website said that the package was delivered at 11:30am. So, I come home early, expecting to fly some planes, kill some hookers and drive a tank through the streets, but there’s no package. Nowhere. Sure, I checked the mail, I checked my door. No slips. No mention of a package. Damn I’m pissed. And, even if I get the package today, the office closes at 6pm, so if the package is in the office, I have to wait till tomorrow morning to pick it up, and wait again until tomorrow evening to do all those fun things. Gah!

Yes, I hate shopping online, but I have no other option. The power supply and GTA: The Trilogy are only available online. No brick-and-mortar stores near me sell them.

So it goes.

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The Family Guy Game

Yeah, there’s a Family Guy game coming out. Imagine that.

I have to say, this is the ugliest game that I want to buy.
Pics and Review – GameSpot Link
Here’s some pictures. The game is done with cell-shading (of course) to produce that animated feeling, but the screenshots I’ve seen look ugly. Maybe it’ll improve if you’re looking at animation, not just stills.

I gotta say, the people making the game know a thing or two about Family Guy. Some classic moments from the show are represented in the game: Peter locking himself in the car, the ambulance feasting on a gazelle, the peg-legged sea captain, Death makes an appearance and, best of all, Stewie has another sexy party.

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Suh-weet


Suh-weet
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Just for the record, I am a corporate tool.

Nah, not really. Actually, Bill threatens his employees into buying the 360. No joke. We are even forced to wear XBOX t-shirts. *Sniff*

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Halo

Ah, yes, good ‘ol Halo. The people are being assholes again and there’s nothing we can do. I was just kicked from a server because I was using opportunistic strategies. The OP is on blue, I’m on red. When a blue player takes advantage of our portal to score easy head-shots, he’s not kicked but warned four times. Something that I rather doubt, but of course OP’s are honest and trustworthy. So, now I’ve parked my tank on a cliff overlooking the blue base and I’m pretty much mowing down anything that tries to get a vehicle. The guy threatens me – “Move or I’m kicking you, asshole!” I move. Continue to kick ass (at this point I am at 90 kills, while most people have less than 30). And then I get kicked. No warning, just a kick. I swear, some of these OP’s are the most pissy people I’ve encountered. A few games back an OP tells me to move my tank cause I’m disrupting the other team’s life (OP is on the other team, of course). I respond with “where would you like me to move my tank?” and almost immediately get the boot.
People in Halo seem to be missing the point of running around with guns blazing: this is war, you’re trying to kill the other guys and achieve some objective. Using a particular weapon does not make you a NOOB. It mearly suggests you have a preference. Or, here’s a wild thought, the weapon is effective and why bother switching strategies? Same thing with vehicles and positions (as in, spawn camping that the other player was doing). I have no objections to a person sticking to a particular gun/vehicle/strategy. For one thing, I do that myself. Second, if a person has a preference for specific vehicles and stratagies, it’s easy to find a flaw/weak point and exploit it. Certainly, a person who doesn’t move from one spot (the place they spawn-camp us from) is easier to kill because you know exactly where they are. When the player was taking those easy head-shots, I took the long way around and surprised him with another head-shot. The players on the other team could have done that to me. Ambushing a tank is a hell of a lot simpler, considering my response time, rate of reload and lack of options (going over a cliff in a tank isn’t as safe as it sounds).

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