I stand in the field and watch the world wander by. The high flat clouds come in and leave, bringing with them merciful shade for a short while. A few flocks of birds come and I manage to scare them off.

He walks along the field, checks the drainage ditch, clears out week-old clogs. He waves to Diana as she heads to town in the truck, then continues walking even after she is beyond view, around the field and toward the warehouse at its edge, pulling clogs out of the drainage and random uncaught weeds from the soil.

He drives our ignored-yet-trusty tractor outside and takes close to two hours cleaning it out, spraying out a metric ton of dirt that has accumulated within. Diana comes back around sunset, before he is done, and the surprise in her voice breaks my heart. I want to scream...

He knows what he's doing. He moves around the tractor until I can clearly see her face. She beams and I see long-forgotten laugh lines forming around her mouth and eyes. I hadn't seen her so happy in months, years. A lifetime of gloom and sadness flickering through my mind. She hasn't been this happy... I can't remember when she looked so happy.

She hugs him, smiles as they hold each other close, and for a moment looks up. I know she's thanking God for this moment. I want to scream...

Still hugging, he grabs her ass. She's surprised and almost backs away from him, so startled at this development, then her head tilts and she assaults him with her tongue. I hear a supersonic boom, probably from the speed of her lips hitting his, her tongue slipping between his teeth, her hands grabbing flesh and pulling him tight. I'm inferring, of course, from dusty memories, from when we were younger, before the farm.

Eventually she pulls back and they stare at each other, panting and wild-eyed, before she leans over to his ear and whispers. I remember the feel of her breath on my neck, when we'd gone through these same steps before. She takes his hand and leads him toward the house. I think there's a spring in her step and she is walking faster, practically at a trot, pulling him along. I want to scream...

They disappear into the house as I watch the sun dip below the horizon. Lights go on and off as they ascend to the master bedroom on the second floor of the house.

The bay windows in the master bedroom are open and I hear her happiness, her pleasure, something I hadn't heard in forever. They make love on the padded couch in the bay window, in full view of the field, and I want to scream...

At midnight, he sneaks downstairs and walks out of the house. I watch him approach, and I want to scream...

He stands a few feet away and looks at me. His eyes are familiar, the same eyes I have seen in the mirror for the past forty-six years. Now they glower at me, daring me to climb down and take my life back. He waves a hand - what used to be my right hand - and something within my straw-filled body changes and I know that I can speak.

I want to scream... but instead, I just hang my head: "You're right. She's happier with you. Stay with her. I'll watch the fields."